Sometimes we get caught in a moment, in the hub-bub of life, in the constant going…or even what might feel like the constant waiting. We get trapped in what we think of ourselves, our lives. We let things shape us that have no business shaping us. In the motion or in the waiting we get caught in our own box, our own near-sightedness.
Every once in a while though there is something that happens making us look from different eyes or from an angle we haven’t even noticed before. A glimpse beyond the usual, a fantastic moment when all of a sudden you can actually see a puzzle piece of life fitting. This happened to me just the other day.
Lately I have been working on a project that is entirely beyond “me”. I have been pushed outside of my own comfort level and am almost daily brought to the end of myself, relying completely on the blessing and wisdom of God. It’s exciting, I’m thankful, and it is a challenging life lesson right now. It is what I have unknowingly been working towards for a number of years, it’s bigger and better than I ever thought I would be asked to do, and that is how I know it’s God and He is faithful and He is here. But in the midst of all His big-ness, at the end of one’s self, is much intimidation and low confidence. I’m sure turning another year older last month is also playing a part, as I have often had the thought that I am “still living and doing everything I did when I was 18, only I was a better person then”. Not a very helpful thought to build your confidence, but who wants confidence in themselves anyway?
Back to the other day, as it happened I was invited to attend a gathering of a small group of women that meet every Wednesday. The lady that invited me introduced me as, “She is a painter, a glass-blower, an interior designer, a musician, an all-around great person.” Earlier that day her husband had introduced me in very much the same way…both times made my face burn with my signature red color and made me feel awkward. But an older woman that evening responded with, “No wonder I have no gifts, she has them all.” And this is where I saw puzzle pieces snapping together. I don’t say this out of pride, I say this objectively and with gratitude. I just want to share the pieces I saw falling into place that day…
1. Though I have often felt my life is going nowhere, I have been blessed with a multitude of experiences and opportunities.
2. Contrary to what most people think is “acceptable”, because I have chosen to stay in my parent’s home with their blessing, I have been able to pursue and grow opportunities I might otherwise not have been able to. Had I followed the general trend and moved out when I was 18 to pursue who knows what and get in debt to do the who knows what, my experiences would tend more to be about how to pay for my debt, than pursuing art, or design, or a volunteer opportunity, or traveling, or just being around to watch my siblings grow up (which was a prayer of mine when the youngest was born. Don’t you love seeing answered prayer?).
3. Though I didn’t follow the path of a formal “well-rounded” education, I have truly been blessed with opportunities to do a multitude of other things that have given me a completely different “well-rounded” education…I think you might just call it living life with eyes open.
4. My life might not be what I ever thought it would be, but I can stand in joy knowing that my Father has it all under control. I choose to believe that His purpose for my life, and everyone’s life is in the here and now of today. And yes, some things might be life altering and long reaching, but everyone doesn’t have that lightning struck moment of greatness, like I think is commonly pushed and taught, leaving people feeling like they have no worth and their life is meaningless.
5. Sometimes God moves so smoothly we are doing what we had hoped and worked towards without even knowing it. The other day I became aware of the fact I was doing what I had hoped to be doing years ago….working at home, being creative, working with color, designing. Praise Him from whom ALL blessings flow.
I share all of this in humility. I complain far too often of the things I can see when in reality “the truest things I know are those I can not see.” ~JJ Heller
If only we would pause and reflect on the blessings and the here and now. What if we trusted in the One putting the pieces together instead of grumbling about the fact it’s not going together how we wanted it, or have thought it would go all of our lives. Life is a gift. It isn’t really even ours to keep or do anything with, so let God have His reigning power and let Him freely move those puzzle pieces. Don’t feel defeated in that which we do not have, or don’t even hope to attain. Let us be His to praise His name!